A Step Away

11:52 PM

For the past few months you might have noticed that I have taken a step back from posting on this website. I haven't forgotten about this blog. It's just that I was going through some things in my life (outside of the internet) and I thought it would be wise to stop posting for a while.

Ever feel like everyone is looking up everything you are doing irl and online? Well that literally happened to me. I don't want to talk about it online or ever really address what is going on. I'm fine! Nothing bad is happening to me. I've just been given a really good opportunity to do something great. So, I've just been clearing up my social media. I want to make sure the things I post online reflect who I am as a person.

I've come to face a situation where sometimes the things you post online has a way to come back to you in real life. Most of the time you think that the things you post online will only stay in your confined bubble of space on the internet. When reality, it can spill over into your offline life and have consequences. For this reason, I've become a lot more careful about the things I post online.

Too many times I've come into: "Hey, I read that one post on your blog and..." or "You wear too much makeup in your photos" and "You shouldn't post this kind of picture on your Instagram" from someone who I wasn't even aware checks up on my social media accounts. Let me tell you, it feels really weird when you are confronted offline. I became super critical about the things I wanted to post. From the confrontation and my lack of self confidence, I often want to just completely cut myself out of all social media.

But I decided not to do that because I feel like writing and posting is my way of expressing myself.


I've been contemplating how I should even write this post for a while now. I don't want to suddenly announce my return to this blog and promise that I will continue to update it. I feel like I've done that in the past, but then I stop posting and have to re-announce my return again.

THE MAIN STRUGGLE

I think I struggle with being hyper critical with myself. It's hard for me to post things online because I'm afraid of what others are going to think about it in the future.

A prime example: I've removed all my posts starting from 2010-2014. They aren't permanently deleted. I've just taken them down for now. Maybe if I feel more comfortable in the future, I'll put them back up again. I know that removing posts from the blog creates some trouble. A lot of the links that you might click on the blog might be "broken" or lead to blank pages. For that, I apologize. I never really know which post I'm going to remove.

If a post doesn't meet my "standard", I feel oblige to delete it and erase any trace of the post. Sometimes I look back on my old posts and realize that I wrote something that doesn't really reflect who I am as a person currently. So I promptly delete the post or just hide it from view.

I want to become more confident with the content that I post on this blog. I think it's about time that I find that creative spark that has led me to love blogging. If I had to name a main goal for myself:

I WANT TO BECOME A MORE CONFIDENT BLOGGER.

Here's to deleting less posts and taking pride in the things that I write! 

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